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It's been one week since I've been out of the hospital. I remember being confident about the surgery, for after speaking with my surgeon about the procedure he assured me that if I healed fast I would be able to walk normally in three days.
I guess I'm a slow healer.
Honestly, if I had known that the hard part would come after the doctors-hacking-away-at-your-body stage, I wouldn't have spent the night before the surgery trembling in fear. All the people who were thankfully there for me, keeping me company till the wee hours of the morning (until my mom had mercy on me and instructed a nurse to give me a sedative so I would go to sleep haha) and assuring me that everything will be fine, that I will not wake up crippled (actually, I kind of did. Heh) and that they will be praying for me (I OWE YOU GUYS MY LIFE. Haha), you all wasted your load. Hahaha I'm kidding. But seriously, thank you so much. You know who you are. :)
Ok so now here I am to tell you about life after surgery *cue inspirational music* First of all, the pain is excruciating. I woke up a few hours after the surgery feeling almost no pain on my right knee/leg except for the fact that I seemed incapable of moving it, thinking "hey, this isn't so bad", and falling in and out of unconsciousness due to the after-effect of the anasthesia (I accidentally slept on the nurse while she was asking how I was feeling. Hahaha). But I woke up last Tuesday (the surgery was early morning last Monday) and the pain - *bam* it hit so hard, it made me dizzy. And add the fact that I couldn't move my entire leg and finding out after several painful stretching that it hurt to move my feet...
Oh no.
I was sent back home Tuesday afternoon (don't even ask how I got down to the car) and upon going home, I started working on trying to move my leg (this is after I passed out of fatigue and woke up at nine in the evening feeling a bit awake). It's extremely painful trying to move my leg normally again after not being moved for such a long time, not to mention that the wound in my knee was by this time screaming agony. I would've gladly gone back to the hospital and gotten myself dextrosed for another dose of anasthesia at this point.
My days are now spent in front of the television (PRISON BREAK O_O) or in front of the computer. Actually, I learned a great lesson on being thankful for what God has given me in this. I know that sounds preachy, but hear me out. Whenever I'd see people using their legs on television (and I saw quite alot. *ahem* hot convicts *ahem* haha), I'd get jealous. I'd start thinking "look at those people, they can walk/jump/dance/bend their knees (yes, I can't even do that)/run." It would be too cold and I would see my sister stand up to adjust the aircon thermostat and think "look at her, she can do that." And I realized, hey. I've been taking advantage of that for sixteen years! I remembered all times I was feeling too lazy to get up to do or fetch something for myself. Small blessings that only those who have been stripped of it would know to appreciate. As Joni Mitchell wrote, Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? So true.
So I was back to being a bum. I remember my bum days back in the summer, how I'd complain to my friends that I was being a bum because I had no choice (had no transpo, had no money, couldn't do sports cause of my knee, bla bla) but nowadays I really had none. I couldn't walk. It took so much effort and pain to merely sit up, how much more stand. The crutches tire me easily. I could maybe take a few steps, yes, but they were extremely small and I couldn't do more than a few. It's so funny, during one of my boring-est days while waiting to leave for the surgery, I remember telling a good friend, "I wish I'd have my surgery na". When he curiously asked why, I replied with an exasperated "So that I'd do something!". Oh if only I knew,haha. From full use of my legs to cripple-dom in thirty minutes (yes, that's how long my surgery was, haha the doctors were so quick). It's quite a change.
Anyway I won't bore you the details of how much pain and effort it took for my leg to be how it is today. Yes, it still hurts like hell, but at least I could move it around a bit now. It doesn't hurt to move my feet. I could sleep on my side now, though only the right side. I could walk a bit now, though I still limp for I am unable to bend my knee (I'm working on it). Do you know how sad it is to eat alone? I've been doing so the past days, and for the first time today I went down the stairs (with no crutches - yes, I am off them now!) and was able to eat in the dining table with the rest of my family.
I'm still learning to walk again. I'm just thankful I have wonderful people who are there to take this walk with me.
I guess I'm a slow healer.
Honestly, if I had known that the hard part would come after the doctors-hacking-away-at-your-body stage, I wouldn't have spent the night before the surgery trembling in fear. All the people who were thankfully there for me, keeping me company till the wee hours of the morning (until my mom had mercy on me and instructed a nurse to give me a sedative so I would go to sleep haha) and assuring me that everything will be fine, that I will not wake up crippled (actually, I kind of did. Heh) and that they will be praying for me (I OWE YOU GUYS MY LIFE. Haha), you all wasted your load. Hahaha I'm kidding. But seriously, thank you so much. You know who you are. :)
Ok so now here I am to tell you about life after surgery *cue inspirational music* First of all, the pain is excruciating. I woke up a few hours after the surgery feeling almost no pain on my right knee/leg except for the fact that I seemed incapable of moving it, thinking "hey, this isn't so bad", and falling in and out of unconsciousness due to the after-effect of the anasthesia (I accidentally slept on the nurse while she was asking how I was feeling. Hahaha). But I woke up last Tuesday (the surgery was early morning last Monday) and the pain - *bam* it hit so hard, it made me dizzy. And add the fact that I couldn't move my entire leg and finding out after several painful stretching that it hurt to move my feet...
Oh no.
I was sent back home Tuesday afternoon (don't even ask how I got down to the car) and upon going home, I started working on trying to move my leg (this is after I passed out of fatigue and woke up at nine in the evening feeling a bit awake). It's extremely painful trying to move my leg normally again after not being moved for such a long time, not to mention that the wound in my knee was by this time screaming agony. I would've gladly gone back to the hospital and gotten myself dextrosed for another dose of anasthesia at this point.
My days are now spent in front of the television (PRISON BREAK O_O) or in front of the computer. Actually, I learned a great lesson on being thankful for what God has given me in this. I know that sounds preachy, but hear me out. Whenever I'd see people using their legs on television (and I saw quite alot. *ahem* hot convicts *ahem* haha), I'd get jealous. I'd start thinking "look at those people, they can walk/jump/dance/bend their knees (yes, I can't even do that)/run." It would be too cold and I would see my sister stand up to adjust the aircon thermostat and think "look at her, she can do that." And I realized, hey. I've been taking advantage of that for sixteen years! I remembered all times I was feeling too lazy to get up to do or fetch something for myself. Small blessings that only those who have been stripped of it would know to appreciate. As Joni Mitchell wrote, Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? So true.
So I was back to being a bum. I remember my bum days back in the summer, how I'd complain to my friends that I was being a bum because I had no choice (had no transpo, had no money, couldn't do sports cause of my knee, bla bla) but nowadays I really had none. I couldn't walk. It took so much effort and pain to merely sit up, how much more stand. The crutches tire me easily. I could maybe take a few steps, yes, but they were extremely small and I couldn't do more than a few. It's so funny, during one of my boring-est days while waiting to leave for the surgery, I remember telling a good friend, "I wish I'd have my surgery na". When he curiously asked why, I replied with an exasperated "So that I'd do something!". Oh if only I knew,haha. From full use of my legs to cripple-dom in thirty minutes (yes, that's how long my surgery was, haha the doctors were so quick). It's quite a change.
Anyway I won't bore you the details of how much pain and effort it took for my leg to be how it is today. Yes, it still hurts like hell, but at least I could move it around a bit now. It doesn't hurt to move my feet. I could sleep on my side now, though only the right side. I could walk a bit now, though I still limp for I am unable to bend my knee (I'm working on it). Do you know how sad it is to eat alone? I've been doing so the past days, and for the first time today I went down the stairs (with no crutches - yes, I am off them now!) and was able to eat in the dining table with the rest of my family.
I'm still learning to walk again. I'm just thankful I have wonderful people who are there to take this walk with me.
Current Location: Tita's house, Cebu
Current Music: Signal Fire - Snow Patrol
1 comment | Leave a comment
happy
PLEEASE
thoughtful
awake
sore
sick
where's my starbucks card?!
cold
grateful; thank you ralph!
ecstatic
creative
still weirdly happy
uuhh..
lethargic
excited